Know Yourself
The first step in our growth journey
Have you ever seen someone give a gift wrapped in like a gazillion layers of wrapping paper? For instance, a large box is handed to someone as a gift, and as the person opens it, they unwrap layer after layer until they are holding a small package and have piles of wrapping paper around their feet. Think of your essence, your authentic self, like that small gift. It has many layers wrapped around it. Some are patterns from childhood, some are burdens placed on you by society, some are hurts and insecurities that have been built as walls of protection from life experiences.
Many people live on autopilot, living their daily lives robotically with the habits built from these outside layers. They never stop to ask themselves why they do what they do, why they react the way they react, or even if they like themselves the way that they currently are.
If you want to grow as a person, you must cut through all that outer wrapping and learn who your authentic self is. This process usually begins with working out the values YOU actually hold dear. Not what your parents said you should believe in, not just thinking the same thing as your bestie or coworkers, and definitely not creating a life based solely on what society says you should do. This might require some uncomfortable deep thinking. Actually, that’s pretty much guaranteed and this is a big reason why so few people do it. But we aren’t those people, right?!
A quick internet search will give you tons of questions to get started on the journey to learning who YOU really are. You may be led to an essential new value, sometimes a surprising bit of information, and other times, hopefully, something you are already doing is reinforced as important. As long as we are learning about ourselves, we can grow.
Like tugging on a thread from a new t-shirt, the goal here is to see which questions move right through you, and which ones stop you with a thud. They may make you feel confused, frustrated, or even angry. Those are the ideas that you need to sit with. Here are some of our favorite questions to get started:
What are my (actual) top 3 priorities in life?
What are my strengths?
What are my weaknesses?
What brings me joy?
What do I dislike?
What gives me energy?
What drains me?
Something I would like to say ‘yes’ to more often than I do now.
Something I would like to say ‘no’ to more often than I do now.
We suggest beginning with writing the definition for ‘growth’ and then writing out the definition for ‘stagnant’ to get your mindset fixed and ready for whatever starts bubbling up. Journaling is a great way to process and organize the thoughts and feelings that come up as you work through questions. Write out the good and the bad ideas that surface, how it makes you feel, and about the change you might like to see.
You can go for a walk and contemplate whether or not you are living out YOUR own truth. Contemplation/meditation/mulling over (whatever you are comfortable calling it) is a necessary step. We need our brains to work out who we want to be, why the change is necessary, and plan a path to get there. You can also look for stories of others who have grown in the areas you want to for inspiration. Also, don’t forget to give yourself a pat on the back where you are rocking an important strength. We all need to be proud of ourselves and give ourselves credit where we deserve it.
We recommend visualizing and writing out, to the best of your ability, how the best version of yourself looks, acts, and feels when they act out or react to whatever trait or value that you are trying to grow. Really get yourself in the mindset of who it is you are trying to become.
Once you have started seeing a clearer picture of who you are at your core, then you can work on your outside actions matching your inside values. And voila! Living an authentic life has begun!
Feel free to share with us what you are working on and what’s working for you. In our next blog post, we will discuss how to take your new self-awareness and use it to grow yourself. See you there!
Share your wins
What are you doing to know yourself, grow yourself, and love yourself? We love hearing from not only readers of our books but also from anyone striving to grow in life. Drop us a line!